Psychology Today describes self-deception as a series of behaviors and believes that we adopt to defend our ego.
Say what, “defend my ego”? This alone sets off all my alarm bells and makes me want to run to the closest fire escape.
I try to punch my ego in the stomach every time she comes around, and this is after we have somehow come to good terms, why would I want to defend her?
Well, because sometimes an illusion is just as good as a dear friend, it is what I need to make a moment last longer, sometimes in the midst of a shipwreck we just want to take a breath and linger on to anything that provides some comfort, or hope.
Sometimes we all need to believe that things are easier, life is kinder, and relationships are deeper than they are.
Sometimes I need to conjure up for myself the belief that all the stars of the firmament are aligned, that unicorns exist, and that he meant what he said. All true, it feels so good.
Sometimes I just need to forget, what I did, his lies, the lessons never learned. Just forget, let’s pretend it never happened.
Sometimes I just do not want to know, hear, feel. Not forever, just not now.
After having let everybody else deceive us, self-deception may be a good place to fall back on and reset. You come full circle.
Sometimes our ego steps in to act as the shock absorber of our falls, puffing up the cushions before we hit the ground, and nothing and nobody (including ourselves) can stand in the way.
One week from now, this unbearable lightness will look insanely ridiculous, but now, if now that’s what you need, please accept that self-deception is as legit as any other coping mechanisms.
Let’s all step back and indulge in the comfort of our very own reality.